


Zero Days of Peace

by Narimiri



Series: Entangled [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: "I love humans" has a very different meaning here, Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Gen, I say major character death but like he's not super important in the fic just in the series, Izaya is a creepy rich shitlord, Izaya the all knowing piece of shit, Murder, Nobody believes the poor guy save him, Or killer i guess theres only one, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Police, Relationship thats not super plot important, Serial Killers, Shizuo this is bad for your health dude, Someone save Shizuo, Tags Contain Spoilers, The story opens with a murder, Wow good job me you used proper last name first stuff like it's actually Japan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-01-10 23:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12309759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narimiri/pseuds/Narimiri
Summary: When a shocking and unsettling murder occurs, with no clues calling the killer's name, the only suspect police officer Heiwajima Shizuo can only think of one possible guilty man.. The rich, famous man Orihara Izaya, whose home the victim's body was found near to. It's only a theory, but it might be ridiculous enough to be true in the end.





	1. Morbid Report

Quick, sharp breaths and sharply snapping footsteps break the silence in the long hall of a mostly empty house. A trail of scarlet blood is left behind, dripping from the victim's abdomen as he tries to get away from the slow, level steps of his attacker. 

 

His legs weak and starting to feel like lead, dragging him down till he trips, sprawling on the ground as his attacker draws closer, the sound of expensive boots on the floor at a brisk, but nonchalant pace. Tears falling down as he begins to scream, begging for mercy.

 

"I think the most enjoyable thing about humans is the sweet, desperate begging they do on the brink of death~" His attacker is amused, and he catches a glimpse of the man's face. Almost demonic red eyes, pale skin, and short black hair. He burns the image into his brain, screaming one more plea before..

 

A fatal stab..

 

_____________

 

"What do you w- A what?!" The previously laid-back officer stands from his chair at the sudden news of someone being fucking murdered.

 

"S..some officers found a body- well a- a part of one- In the- the woods a few m-miles from that Orihara's place outside the city- They found a h-head.." The noticeably scrawnier officer explains anxiously, trembling so hard that his thick framed glasses slip down the bridge of his nose.

 

"Do they know who the victim was?" The taller and higher ranking officer runs his hand through his coarse, bleach blond hair. They haven't had to deal with a literal murder in months and months, and now this, this just came out of total fucking left field.

 

"Th-they identified the head as Kida Masaomi's, h-he was a student at Raira academy.. they- They couldn't find a body though.. A-and his head.. H-he had an eye missing- S-Shizuo!" Unable to stop his superior, the smaller of the two quickly follows him out.

 

"The body was near Orihara's place, right? I'm going to question that insufferable slimy little TICK..!" To be truthful, Shizuo has never met this Orihara, but he's seen him on tv, and that 'holier-than-thou' smirk the man wears, along with the nasty, smug lilt to his voice. Orihara, from what he knows, is beyond wealthy, and he damn sure talks about it a lot.

 

"S-Shizuo! Orihara has nothing to do with the murder, I'm sure of it!" 

 

Beast mode. That's what everyone in the station calls it. And Shinra's just set it off again.

 

Grabbing the bespectacled man by his collar, Shizuo pulls him forward till he's mere inches from his face.

 

"Guilty or not fucking guilty, he lives right fucking there, and he could give us some information." Shizuo growls. Beast mode must be less extreme today, since he just releases Shinra from his grip, and walks out, out of the building and gets in his car. He pulls out and is driving away before anyone can come with him. 

 

It's around 45 minutes before Shizuo reaches the gates of Orihara's extremely not humble abode. It's not long before he's let into the gates. 

 

As he's walking from his car to the entrance, god knows how far it is, he feels a slight chill up his spine at the quiet and foreboding atmosphere of the grounds. If the kid's body was found a few miles off from the house, there's a chance it could still be on the grounds.. He starts to grow suspicious towards Orihara. He reaches the actual damn house after a few minutes more of walking. He gives the door a solid knock, waiting for someone to answer.

 

"Yes, yes, I'm coming- Ahh~ A police officer? My my, what could I have done, Officer?"

 

"Officer Heiwajima Shizuo, Ikebukuro Police Department. I just need to ask you some questions. In case you were unaware, parts of a teenage boy's body were found near to your property." Shizuo tries to stay calm, despite this man oozing with snobbish, all knowing composure.

 

"Aah, a police officer came all the way from Tokyo to speak to me?" Orihara smiles with just the faintest hint of wickedness, not even reacting to the explanation of the Kida kid's murder.

 

"The victim was from that area, so of course we'd be on the case.." Shizuo says under his breath, more to himself than to Orihara. This guy is seriously fucking creepy..

 

"I see~" Orihara catches him off guard, "Well, if you're going to question me, you ought to come in."

 

Since Orihara isn't a legitimate suspect, Shizuo can't drag him down to the station for questioning, so he's got to question him here. He takes a second to survey Orihara's body. Thin and small, around four inches shorter than Shizuo but probably at least a bit muscular, with short black hair, pale skin that suggests he's never left his home (When he really often does), and red, red eyes. He's dressed in a black vest, tie, and pants, and red shirt. Shizuo notes that those are colors one wouldn't notice blood on easily. Now I'm just being paranoid, he tells himself as Orihara lets him in.

 

He surveys the foyer for anything amiss, trying to be discreet so Orihara won't be suspicious of his suspicion. Nothing's really wrong, at least not till he catches a glimpse of a small patch of something red on the floor.

 

"Ah, my maid must've hurt herself and forgot to clean up the blood." Orihara doesn't flinch at Shizuo's notice of the blood on the floor, and talks of his maid as if she's below human, or a lowly slave. The thought of someone being SO disgusting, that they could treat someone like that makes Shizuo's blood boil. "Ahh, no matter~ Come in, have a seat. How do you take your coffee?"

 

"I don't," Shizuo says firmly, a deadpan expression forming on his face that rivals the famous one of his younger brother.

 

"That's rather rude, I'm only trying to be hospitable. Now, how do you take your coffee?" Orihara's lips curl into a disturbing smile.

 

"Plain," Shizuo says simply, having zero knowledge of coffee. He calmly comes to a stop with Orihara in the lavish living room.

 

"Have a seat, please~ My maid will be in to give us our coffee soon." Orihara smiles, taking a seat and folding his hands in his lap. As if she was explicitly called upon, a woman with long, dark hair, dressed in a plain and modest maid's outfit. Shizuo studies her, no sign of an injury that could've made her bleed. His brows furrow in suspicion. Orihara is most likely lying. 

 

"Ah, there you are.. Namie~" Orihara seems to struggle to call the maid's name up, but quickly shrugs it off as if it was nothing. "Can you get two black coffees for me and my guest?" Fake kindness just oozes from Orihara's smug voice. 

 

"Yes Sir," Namie, the maid says, her voice dry. She slowly leaves the room, unaware that Shizuo is observing her for something like a limp.

 

"Hm? What do you want with my maid?" Orihara's nasty voice draws Shizuo's attention back to him, and he remembers that he's here to question Orihara, not to search around his house, just yet.

 

"Whatever. Well, Mr. Orihara, would you happen to have heard anyone screaming or similar sounds in the last few days? Sometime last night probably." Shizuo turns back to meet Orihara's smirking face. 

 

"Ah, I was hoping we wouldn't have to talk about the murder~" Orihara sounds like he doesn't really mind talking about the murder of Kida Masaomi, almost like it excites him. "As someone who harbors quite a love for humanity, it's always truly terrible hearing about a murder~"

 

"Answer my question, Orihara," Shizuo snaps.

 

"No, I haven't heard screaming or anything of the sort," Orihara replies. He's smiling far too much for someone talking about murder.

 

The maid comes back in, and sets down two cups of coffee on the table. Having a paranoid suspicion it could be drugged, Shizuo doesn't touch his coffee. Rude or not, he doesn't fucking trust this bastard. Orihara seems rather displeased that he doesn't take the drink.

 

The questioning continues, with Orihara completely denying he knows anything about the murder, and Shizuo growing less trusting of him (which says a lot, since he barely trusted Orihara from the start).

 

It's an hour or so before Shizuo can't come up with anything to ask Orihara, and with a polite but stiff 'thank you for taking time to let me question you', he walks out of the manor, heading to the gate. 

 

With clouds starting to roll in, hinting at the start of rain soon, the place is even more disturbing and foreboding. He makes it back to the gates without a hitch, and gets in his car. Slowly pulling out, he leaves the Orihara home for now, heading back to the police station in Ikebukuro. 

 

When he arrives at the station, the rain is falling in merciless torrents, and there's a bike laying on the ground by the door into the station. Running in before he gets soaked, he sees a short, scrawny teenage boy who somewhat resembles a younger version of Orihara. The kid is sobbing hysterically, and Shinra and one of the other officers Kyohei, are trying to calm him down.

 

"C-can you p-please t-tell me w-what happened!? I-I know y-you know what h-happened to Masaomi!" Shizuo's eyes open wide when he hears the name the kid says. This poor kid, his friend was murdered, and he doesn't even know. 

 

"I-I'm sorry, we- Shizuo! You're back!" Shinra seems to melt in relief when he sees Shizuo standing dripping wet in the doorway.

 

"What's going on here?" Shizuo asks wearily, watching the panicking Shinra, exhausted and silent Kyohei, and the panicking kid they're dealing with.

 

"S-Sir, please!" The kid starts off on another panicky tirade, "I-I need to know w-what happened t-to my friend! H-he disappeared!"

 

"What is his name?" Shizuo asks, hoping his firm tone will calm the poor kid down.

 

"K-Kida Masaomi.." Shizuo goes tense at the name. "Th-that's what they did too!!" The kid sobs, pointing at Shinra and Kyohei. Suddenly, his crying just.. stops. The kid stares down at his feet, completely silent. 

 

"If you.. won't.. tell me.. I have my suspicions.. I'll go find Masaomi's kidnapper.. or killer myself.. And make them pay.." The kid's voice is shaky and uneven, and at a slow pace, he starts off for the door. Shizuo steps in front of door.

 

"Kid. You're staying here until we can get someone to pick you up," Shizuo says with a tired sigh.

 

"I have a name, Sir.. It's Ryugamine Mikado.." His voice is still solemn and uneven, but he's calming, and it's unnerving. 

 

"Okay then.. Do you have anyone we can contact?" Ryugamine shakes his head.

 

"My parents are... Busy.. Sir, please let me leave. I can take myself home." The kid reminds Shizuo of Orihara, just with anxiety instead of wit. And oddly, Shizuo has nothing against him.

 

"If nobody can pick you up, I'm going to at least drive you home." Shizuo comes up with a compromise which Ryugamine begrudgingly says he'll agree to. Shizuo takes the kid out to his car, and lets him in, and they pull out from the station, rain still pouring down.

 

"Do you know the last place your friend was before he went missing?" Shizuo feels bad, but decides to question the kid anyways.

 

"H-he went to visit his girlfriend, she's a live in maid for this wealthy man outside of town.." Ryugamine says softly, and Shizuo immediately knows he means Orihara. The creepy tick must have more than one maid, since there's no way a high schooler would date someone in her twenties like that Namie woman.

 

"What is his girlfriend's name?"

 

"Mikajima Saki.." The kid says softly. "I-I think.."

 

So Orihara definitely has two maids, Shizuo deduces. "So you haven't heard from him since he went to see her?" Ryugamine nods at this.

 

"Yes.. And can you please tell me what happened to him..?"

 

"I'm real sorry, kid, but... We found your friend's body yesterday in the woods by the Orihara place.." Shizuo swallows hard, waiting for the reaction. 

 

"O..oh.. I h-had my suspicions.." Ryugamine is quite shaken up at the words, but he doesn't panic much. "A-ah, um.. we're here.. Thank you, Sir.."

 

Unsure about just leaving the poor kid, but basically having to, he lets him out in front of the apartment building. It's a pretty nice building, so at least the kid definitely lives with people. Shizuo watches for the kid to go inside the building, before driving off to return to the station, the car radio almost drained out by the rain outside.

 

_________

 

As he goes up in the elevator, Ryugamine Mikado thinks about the words of the police officer. If Masaomi's body was found near to Orihara's.. Then there has to be at least a little chance Orihara is guilty! No matter what the man says, Mikado is now convinced that Orihara is one hundred percent guilty. He wants this man to know of his crime..

 

"Orihara Izaya is going to pay.."


	2. Second Week

It's been a whole fucking week, and nobody has cracked the case of Kida Masaomi's murder, or even come up with some kind of breakthrough. They had one suspect (not Orihara), a teacher of the victim's, but the suspicions were quickly debunked with things like "Why would he dump the body all the way out there if he were the killer" "It'd make more sense for him to dump it in a dumpster or something in town" and so on. And thus, despite the teacher's definite creepiness, he was debunked as the killer.

 

And now, there they sit in the station with no clues.

 

"We should investigate the Orihara place more th-"

 

"We should not," Kyohei finishes, "There's no reason for Orihara to have killed him."

 

"That guy was creepy as fuck! He basically had a big red arrow saying "Look here I'm the killer!" above his head! There was blood on the floor, for fuck's sake!" Shizuo knows his personal absolute loathing of Orihara probably plays a part in his suspicion, but there's no denying there was something very, very off about Orihara. 

 

"S-Shizuo, we get that you don't like Mr. O-Orihara, but b-be rational..!" Shinra says nervously, scared of invoking Shizuo's wrath with his words.

 

"I'm going to investigate. I'm your superior, and I have the final say," Shizuo says firmly. He hates to use the 'obey your superior' card, but he has no choice but to do it today. "We're going to investigate that slimy piece of trash.." He says it more to himself. 

 

Shinra and Kyohei take a moment to examine their temporarily calm superior. Shizuo's been losing sleep over this case, losing weight too. He stays overnight at the station-- His girlfriend must worry, they think--, trying to piece together what shoddy evidence and clues they have, and it's apparent in the almost black rings of exhaustion around his eyes, and his face gone pale and sickly, losing the healthy tan from the past months of the year. He's been forgetting to eat, too-- one meal a day, if that much, the only thing fueling him being his desperation to solve this fucking case. They decide it can't kill them much more to investigate Orihara, and Shizuo might relax a bit if they get some evidence pointing either way.

 

"U-um.. Okay, Shizuo.. We can do an investigation on him. W-we're coming with you though.." Shinra's concern for his friend and superior's health has only gotten greater since the case was opened. 

 

"Thanks," Shizuo is tired and blunt, and he slowly rises from his chair, walking out of the station with Shinra and Kyohei following suit. The three young adults get into Shizuo's car. It's raining ceaselessly outside as they pull out, beginning the tiresome drive out to the Orihara place.

 

When they arrive, Shizuo parks the car, and have to trudge across the muddy, soggy grounds of the mansion in the heavy rain. 

 

At the door, Shizuo raises a tired, weary hand to knock on the door. 

 

Surprise, surprise, Orihara answers with a nasty smile.

 

"Ah, you've returned, Hei-chan~ And brought friends!" Izaya exclaims delightedly.

 

".. What the f-" Shizuo cuts himself off, deciding it'd be rude to say "what the fuck did you call me?". 

 

"Aah~ It's so nice of you to come over, especially right before dinner~!" Orihara chirps.

 

"Shizuo, why is he acting so friendly with you..?" Kyohei is utterly baffled by Orihara's chirpy, upbeat disposition.

 

"Like I fucking know..!" Shizuo hisses, not holding back his language.

 

"U-um.. Mr. Orihara.. W-we've come here to investigate.." Shinra explains, obviously intimidated by him. 

 

"Ah, I see~ Hei-chan still suspects me of being a killer, how mean," Orihara feigns sadness. "But I'll forgive it, and even let you take a little lookaround if you three lovely humans join me for a meal~"

 

"Fine.." Shizuo agrees begrudgingly, tired brown eyes that hide none of his emotions from analyzing still managing a glare directed at Orihara. With a delighted smile on his face, Orihara ushers them in, through the halls and in through the large Western style French doors into the dining hall. The cleaned to damn perfection dark wooden table is framed by many more chairs than Orihara has guests. Each of the three officers hesitantly takes a seat, Shinra removing his hat and squishing it back and forth in his shaking hands once he's seated. 

 

"Now, why are you all so silent?" Orihara is creepily cheerful still as he stands to pour a glass of red wine for each of his guests and himself, the same demonic red as his eyes, at least in the dining room's dim lighting. Simultaneously, Shinra, Kyohei, and Shizuo all internally decide not to drink the wine. It's most likely not drugged, as Orihara is calmly drinking from his glass, which was poured from the same expensive looking bottle as theirs, but getting drunk while they're technically still working could fuck them over majorly. "How rude~ I mean, that is to be suspected of Hei-chan~"

 

Shizuo starts to rise from his chair, but Kyohei, who's sitting nearest to him, grabs him by the arm and uses all his strength to yank his friend back down. "Shizuo!" Kyohei hisses angrily. Too exhausted to genuinely go into beast mode, Shizuo looks down, shaggy blond hair hiding his eyes, his mood still easier to read than a picture book.

 

He sits in silence through Orihara's fake kindness and rude berating, until he hears the bastard say something about him having a brother.

 

"What..?" Shizuo is so panicked he comes out confused as hell, where the fuck would Orihara pull that from, how would he know about Kasuka?!

 

"Ah, I was just talking about how interesting it is that your little brother is so famous~ Heiwajima Kasuka, is that not his name? Oh, or maybe I should use his stage name~ Hanejima Yuhei-kun~" Orihara smiles innocently, sipping from his glass.

 

Shinra goes pale. "H-how did..?!" Goddamn it Shinra, Shizuo thinks, now Orihara knows without a shadow of a doubt that he's totally right.

 

"Thank you for being so kind as to confirm my sus- Ah. Dinner~" Orihara cuts himself off when the brown haired maid with a deadpan face, along with a shorter, younger maid with short golden brown hair enter the dining hall, carrying platters with food.

 

Shizuo assumes it won't be drugged or poisoned since it's on plates they can serve themselves from, which are layed out on the table for them to eat as they please. 

 

"Thank you," Shizuo is monotone and curt, and his thanks is directed towards the maids, not Orihara, since the food truly does look amazing. He takes a moment to study the younger maid, assuming her to be Mikajima Saki, the girl mentioned by that kid who came to the station last week-- Shizuo just can not place the kid's name. Mikajima looks glum, no, she looks incredibly, incredibly depressed-- understandable, her boyfriend was murdered.. The poor girl. She seems to drag one leg as she walks, as if she's limping. Shizuo quietly observes the limp as Mikajima leaves the dining room with the other maid.

 

"Well? Aren't you going to eat?" Orihara interrupts his observations, and Shizuo reluctantly gets himself a very small portion of food. Orihara seems to quite like Western styled things, judging from his home, and the food that's been served, which has a very "wealthy Westerner food" style and quality, and just everything in general about Orihara's lifestyle is quite Western. The food isn't really all that bad, it's fucking good really. Shizuo hopes that's just his hunger talking. The weird thing however.. Is there's just something slightly.. different, about the meat, it doesn't taste like anything he's ever had before, and it's just off. He assumes it's just how it's prepared or something, but he still can't help thinking something is wrong about the food, and it's enough to get him to abruptly stop eating.

 

"If you don't mind, I'm going to take a look around, Mr. Orihara. I came here to investigate, and I intend to," Shizuo says firmly, rising from his seat. Shinra and Kyohei quickly rise as well, which Shizuo is thankful for.

 

"Aw~ But our meal has hardly started, how could you get to business so soon?" Orihara pretends to be sad, his smirk ruining it.

 

"Please excuse us, we really do have work to do, Sir," Kyohei says politely and the three leave the dining room since there's nothing suspicious there. 

 

___________

 

"Shizuo, we told you we wouldn't find anything if we investigated.." Kyohei says tiredly as they're leaving Orihara's home.

 

"We didn't find nothing, we found those fucking switchblades. That's NOT nothing," Shizuo replies firmly, "And besides, there's something wrong with him, I just know it."

 

"The only thing suspicious he did while we were there was how friendly he was with you. That was pretty creepy, but it didn't say 'I killed someone'," Kyohei says, always the most rational one, "Besides, he explained the knives. It's like a weird hobby thing or something."

 

"A fucking suspicious hobby.." Shizuo grunts in reply as they get in the car. 

 

"I-I guess Shizuo-kun does have a p-point.." Shinra says tiredly and softly, not wanting either of them to jump on him. 

 

"Thank you!" Exasperated, Shizuo starts to pull out and drive off. "And come on, is it just me or did that food taste fucking weird?"

 

"N-now you're being ridiculous.." Shinra's support of his superior is instantly dropped, and Shizuo groans.

 

"I swear... I'm going to be right about this.." Shizuo murmurs, knowing something is definitely going to turn out to be.. UP, about Orihara. Chills run through his body when he remembers that Orihara knew about his little brother. Where would he have got that information, it's never been revealed, the only people who would know would be Shizuo and his family, and probably Kasuka's manager. Shizuo makes up his mind to visit his brother soon, just to make sure he's okay. Once work slows down, he promises in his head as he drives.

 

________

 

Late, late into the stormy, rainy night, after everyone else has gone home, Shizuo stays at the station, desperate for some kind of sudden clue-in that's staring him straight in the face. He's so tired he's probably not thinking anywhere near straight. He just has absolutely no idea.

 

"What am I doing..?" He asks himself, running a hand through his hair. He goes over everything he found during the investigation of Orihara's place. Nothing, no glorious realization that'd piece together the crime for him-- He suddenly thinks of something he saw in passing. In the kitchen, there'd been some weird smell to the food, coming from where it'd been cooking. A thought that's completely stupid goes through his head, the thought that Orihara could be eating people. 

 

No. No no no no no, that can't be right! Shizuo rises from his desk chair, and paces around the station in a sudden panic, face twisted in a picture of stress. He's just tired, they haven't even proven that Orihara is a killer, much less a fucking cannibal!

 

"I-I need to calm down.." Shizuo says to himself with a nervous laugh, not sure what to do now. He really, REALLY needs to sleep, he's going to kill himself at this rate. He goes as quickly as he can into the men's bathroom at the station. Maybe he'll snap out of it if he splashes his face with cold water or something.

 

Leaning over the sink, he splashes a bit of cold water on his face. "Hhh..!" He shudders, slowly straightening up to look at himself in the dingy mirror. Fucking mess, he thinks as he watches his reflection.

 

Pale. Pale, tired, and sickly. Those are the first three words he internally describes himself as. He's tearing himself up over trying to solve this, and it shows in his appearance. He groans and pulls at his blond hair in frustration with himself, hating that he can't solve this mess that's taking over his every thought.

 

Tired, but deciding rest can wait, he goes back to his desk and sits down to try and piece everything together more coherently.

 

His thoughts start to drift with his tiredness, and he thinks of seeing his girlfriend, feeling bad for not returning to their apartment to see her in a week. A whole goddamn week. She's going to be so mad.. 

 

Shizuo's sleep deprived thoughts drift between trying to piece clues about the crime together, and thinking of how fucking nice it'd be to get a break. 

 

He denies himself the want to just get up and drive home, he has work to do. A lot of work. And he's going to have that workload till he solves this crap.

 

He almost starts to drift off into sleep again, before convincing himself that he's absolutely not allowed any sleep until he fucking figures this out.

 

He sighs heavily, slams his hands down on the desk, and says,

 

"Right.. I'm going to figure this out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huhdkfmhdmdffgj uhh wow what why did what TWO DAYS. It's taking me way too little time to write this fic I have a problemmmm 0-0 well I promise this fic won't be done too fast, I have A LOT of plot points to go through first. (Also Shizuo and Varona are dating in this fic but its not the focus at all it's just going to be a mentioned in passing and not majorly touched on bit of the story, so that's who the "girlfriend" mentioned is, it's our lovely Varona)


	3. Second Killing

It's the day after the uneventful investigation of the Orihara place, and the middle of the night. It's not pouring out for once, and Shizuo..

 

Shizuo is on the Orihara property, where the first body was found, hoping to find a discarded weapon, anything that could've been hidden under the bushes or leaves in the heavily wooded part of the grounds. This place is fucking creepy at night, but he wasn't getting any work done on the case at the station. Besides, this place could technically be counted as a crime scene, so he's allowed to go to it, right? Whatever, he has every right to look around. 

 

Shizuo continues searching, untill he suddenly finds something, and his face contorts into one of utter horror. He holds back a scream of frantic fear, not wanting to draw attention to his presence. He tries to regain his calm, but there's a fucking corpse right in front of him! Not just a corpse, it's only the head..!

 

The lifeless blue eyes of the corpse stare up at him, blood dribbling down the corners of the mouth, which is twisted in a scream of terror. The short black hair on the head is cut choppy, and it's clumpy with dried blood, and mud from the ground. Shizuo lets out a little choked noise that's meant to replace the scream he wants to let out. That's the body of that kid, Ryugamine..! God, what the FUCK?! Why.. Why would someone kill that poor kid?!

 

Feeling an onslaught of nausea, Shizuo staggers back to look the other way, and before he can hold it back, he finds himself getting sick, expelling the contents of his stomach onto the muddy ground at his feet. It isn't like he hasn't seen dead bodies before..! He doesn't understand why this in particular got to him..

 

Trying to stay composed so he won't draw attention to himself, Shizuo straightens up. Two bodies found in damn near the same place in a month, that place happening to be Orihara's.. Either someone wants to frame the fucker, or Orihara is doing this, and just.. He has to be, it has to be Orihara, it couldn't be anyone else..! And he would've been the one who killed both of them, since they were killed and their bodies were dumped in the same way.. The head chopped off and left in the woods. Shizuo has the horrid thought of "what the hell is Orihara doing with the rest of the bodies?!". He has to do something with the part he doesn't dump for people to stumble across. 

 

Since it's so late, all Shizuo can really do is take some photos to prove that he did find the body, and either wait it out or head back to the station.

 

He decides to wait it out, the killer might show up.. As he looks around, he notices light visible from Orihara's windows. This late at night..? His instinct pulls his feet along, telling him to sneak in, even though it breaks all kinds of rules and codes, not to mention his own morals. But if he knocks, Orihara would have time to conceal suspicious activities before letting him in. 

 

While he's been having this internal debate with himself, his legs and instinct have carried him to a back entrance into Orihara's house. With a heavy swallow to clear the lump in his throat, he pushes open the door, which opens without creaking. His heart rate accelerates, and he can feel his palms getting sweaty under the gloves he's wearing. Trying to mostly conceal the gentle pound of his shoes on the wooden floors, he slips through the halls, trying to find what room Orihara is in. 

 

The first room he slips inside is one-hundred percent Orihara free, but looks like the man was recently in it. A study, with bookshelves lining the walls, and large windows behind the focal point, a desk made from expensive looking dark wood. A freshly empty wine glass on the desk beside an open book indicates Orihara recently left the room, and Shizuo decides to check the next room in case this one is revisited by the so far unseen Orihara.

 

The next room he slips inside of is a second living room. Orihara has quite the affinity for black and red decor, Shizuo notices as he slowly walks around the room. He pauses to take a look at the black bar against one wall, before going over to it. Pretty normal.. Nothing but some bottles of alcohol- What's that..?

 

"Huh..?" He breathes out in confusion, noticing a small bottle of red liquid. He knows he shouldn't, but he takes the bottle carefully, and slips it into his pocket, planning to examine it later. Other than the mysterious, unlabeled bottle of red liquid, nothing is weird in the bar. 

 

That room isn't particularly interesting, aside from the mysterious thing in the bar, so Shizuo slips out of the room.

 

A shudder runs up and through his body when he thinks he hears footsteps down the hall, and he sidesteps into the nearest open door, praying there wasn't really someone there. He pushes against his chest with his hand, trying to calm his anxiously pounding heart. The footsteps going down the hall seem to stop, and Shizuo decides he was imagining them in his paranoia. He slowly takes a look around the room he hid inside, realizing it's the dining room. He already knows there's nothing there, so he passes up examining it more closely.

 

Shizuo's eyes are drawn to the dim light coming from the kitchen doors, and he slowly approaches the doorway.

 

Shadows. Shadows can be seen from inside the kitchen, shadows that looks like people, or at least like one person.

 

No. No no no. He won't get caught, he decides, silently rushing away from the lit up doorway, out of the dining room, and back into the hall, desperately wishing for his beating heart to calm down, since he's sure Orihara or anyone else who could be around could hear it a mile away.

 

He begs himself to get out of there, but he's made a commitment to this investigation, and he has to see it through.

 

Besides, his stupid instinct wouldn't let him get out if he tried to, since it's what shoved him in here anyways. 

 

He gathers his composure and calm off the floor where it's sunk to, and looks for somewhere to check inside next. Shizuo basically forces himself to move, swallowing his nerves.

 

No footsteps yet.. Other than his, which are near silent. This is a horrible horrible terrible plan.. Shizuo can feel sweat dripping down his face, his paranoia and anxiety about getting caught making him feel sick.

 

Thinking he hears footsteps again, the poor man's heart begins to pound, and he ducks inside a different room.

 

This one isn't anything special, it's a bathroom. An overly luxurious manor bathroom, but it probably isn't hiding anything. 

 

Shizuo holds his breath when he hears someone walk right by the bathroom door, praying to every god he can think of that the person-- Orihara, he guesses-- won't see him. Once the footsteps fade out of earshot, Shizuo, who's feeling almost as nauseous as he did when he found poor Ryugamine dead in the woods just an hour prior, slips cautiously out of his hiding place.

 

Shizuo makes a silent run for upstairs, since he doesn't think that's where Orihara went. He hopes and prays that his assumption is correct as he goes to the second floor. He knows paranoid horror would be reflected in his dark eyes if he could see himself, but he forces himself to pick up his courage when he climbs the stairs, hurrying down the hall, pausing at the first room. 

 

The hall is dark, almost completely black, and he slips inside this first room, finding a bathroom, which he quickly checks, finding nothing there.

 

The next room he pushes open the door to is..

 

It's Orihara's bedroom. Of course it is. Oddly, Shizuo feels the most uncomfortable about this part.

 

Probably because bedrooms are where people hide the stuff they don't want people seeing.. Shizuo swallows hard, and examines the dark bedroom.

 

First he checks under the bed, finding that it has no underneath. Dammit.. He looks over at the night stand, slowly opening the drawer. 

 

Suddenly, a chill ghosts the nape of his neck, and he turns around quickly, relieved to find out it was just a draft from the open window.

 

"Thank God.." He breathes out nervously, going back to rooting through drawers as quietly as he can.

 

Why the fuck does Orihara have so many fucking knives?! Hobby my ass, Shizuo thinks when he comes across a flickblade in the drawer. He decides to pocket it along with the mysterious red bottle from the living room. Why would Orihara need a knife in the drawer beside his bed? Fucking creepy.. 

 

Says Shizuo, the paranoid wreck who snuck into the house of a man who's not even a legitimate suspect. And Shizuo has the thought..

 

What's he doing? This is a perfectly awful plan, and he doesn't even know what Orihara would DO to him if he caught him. Act all fake friendly, most likely, shower him in false hospitality and offer him coffee or alcohol that could be poisoned or drugged or god knows what..! 

 

And god only knows what Orihara could do with his dead or unconscious body. Cut him up.. Probably.. Torture him..? Shizuo swallows his rising nausea, and continues to search the room.

 

He both hopes that and is terrified that he'll find more evidence proving Orihara guilty.. Shizuo slowly opens Orihara's closet, wondering if...

 

There isn't anything. Nothing.. He's not sure if he's relieved or more terrified..

 

With a weary yet nervous sigh, Shizuo goes to open the master bathroom door. He slowly goes into the room.

 

Suddenly, uneasiness, more than was already there is rising in him.. He has the realization that Orihara is probably aware of his presence in the house, and that he could be slipping through the house and concealing anything incriminating. But that couldn't be right... He's been as quiet as humanly possible, how could Orihara find him?! There haven't been cameras or anything..

 

Orihara is just making himself look more suspicious doing this..

 

Shizuo turns around, pausing his investigation when he thinks he hears footsteps, and of course it'd be in a room where there's nowhere to hide.

 

Footsteps getting closer, he frantically looks for some way of escape, can't find one anywhere. If he jumped out a window he'd attract attention and break his neck, and there's no hiding places. Not a single one..

 

Closer, he can hear them very clearly now.. Nausea rising up his throat, Shizuo looks another time for somewhere to hide.

 

The footsteps are almost to the bedroom, and he can hear Orihara calling out, the smile on his face heard in how he speaks. Shizuo envisions him, a wicked smile on his face as he approaches, just knowing there's someone there. His imagination twists with tiredness, and he's imagining Orihara holding one of his knives with every intent to use it.

 

No, that's absurd, he wouldn't just be carrying a knife, he tells himself as the footsteps get closer.

 

He checks one final time for a hiding place, before resigning himself to his fate of being caught by Orihara.

 

He tries to formulate a possible explanation to give him when he's found, but not one thing he comes up with sounds like a safe explanation. God, he's completely, completely fucked. There's no way he isn't getting caught.

 

The footsteps are right at the bedroom door, and Shizuo's just scared enough that he backs into the bathroom just a tiny bit further.

 

And then the door opens, and Shizuo's sure he bites his lip hard enough to make it bleed, and he tastes iron in his mouth.

 

"Hello? Is someone here~?" There's Orihara's creepy, light-hearted voice as he slowly walks through the bedroom.

 

Shizuo's breathing quickens. He hears Orihara's short fingernails click against the bathroom's doorknob, and then it slowly opens.

 

"Ah~! Hei-chan, you thought you had to sneak inside of my house? You really think I'm so mean that I wouldn't let you in? I really am offended~"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late compared to the others, it was really difficult writing a chapter with about 90% being internal thoughts and descriptions, and barely any dialogue or extremely exciting things ;;


	4. Litmus Paper

"My, that really is so cruel that you'd think you had to sneak in just to talk to me~" Orihara's honeyed words slip out of his throat with what seems like no trouble.

 

Shizuo's throat feels dry, and he fumbles for some excuse to use. "I- fuck- shit- uh- I-I apologize, Mr. Orihara." That's the most he manages, since he really has no excuse whatsoever. 

 

"I'm not angry, why would I be mad that one of my," A pause, like Orihara is forcing himself to say it, "friends, came to see me?"

 

"I should be going. Again, I apologize." Shizuo keeps his head down, hoping to make Orihara lose interest. Suddenly, an excuse finally comes to mind. "I intended to ask you something.. There was.." Shizuo pauses, remembering what he saw earlier, "another body, found on your property.. Another teen, the friend of the first victim." Shizuo sighs uneasily, waiting for Orihara's response.

 

"Oh, my! How terrible~ I can't believe that someone would kill that poor boy~" Shizuo knows something is very wrong, he never even said a thing about the victim's gender.

 

"I.. never said the victim was a boy.." Shizuo's brows furrow as he stares at Orihara. 

 

"Ah! I just assumed, since the first victim was a boy, and they were friends." Orihara explains, his explanation seeming shoddy and weak to Shizuo's currently paranoid and overanalyzing mind. 

 

"Well, you'd be correct, the victim was a boy." Shizuo clarifies, but he's left silent when Orihara all too enthusiastically ushers him from the room they're standing in, out into the hall.

 

"I'd like, if it isn't confidential information, of course, to know more about how he was killed~ Maybe I could be your helper, Hei-chan~ I take a lot of pride in my investigative abilities."

 

Shizuo is definitely even more wary of him now.. He wants to know about the murder? Shizuo is one-hundred percent sure he's not allowed to share that information with Orihara.

 

"Am I not allowed to know? That really is heartless behavior towards your.. friend~" Another strange pause, as if Orihara is forcing the word.

 

"It's private information concerning a case.." Shizuo says wearily. And why is Orihara so.. excited?! They're talking about a dead body..! "All I can tell you is that there was a murder.. And the corpse was found on your property."

 

"Ah, then won't you at least stay and talk?"

 

"I have to leave. It's the middle of the night, Mr. Orihara," Shizuo says firmly, but Orihara pays him no mind, just pulling him downstairs and into a room. Shizuo recognizes it as the second living room.

 

"You're staying. It'd be rather rude of you to not, right?" Orihara has a dark smile on his lips as he speaks. Shizuo knows he's trying to manipulate him, most likely to get some words about the murder out of him. He knows his assumptions are true when Orihara saunters over to the bar. He's going to get me drunk, that's how he'll get information, Shizuo thinks. 

 

"Hm." He notices Orihara's brow furrow in confusion when he looks through the bar. He probably figured out about the stolen-- Not stolen, taken for evidence that Orihara is a suspicious bastard! The bottle he took from the bar. "Where is it.." Orihara murmurs, before standing up straight. 

 

Now Shizuo is really, really wondering what's in that bottle, if Orihara is so insistent on finding it. His thoughts are interrupted by Orihara sitting a glass in front him.

 

"No thank you, I'm working, so I can't drink," Shizuo says firmly.

 

"Ah, but wouldn't a monster like you have a high alcohol tolerance?" Orihara smirks, that little fucker is trying to provoke him!

 

"What did you call me?" Shizuo tries to keep a level tone.

 

"A monster. I know about that little secret of yours, and don't even deny it~" Shizuo panics at his words, but somehow, thank God, he manages to not show it. Sure, he may be.. Not exactly normal, when it comes to.. His physical strength, but he doesn't just lash out and attack people like a monster would! 

 

"How the fuck do you know that...?!" Shizuo stops holding his tongue, Orihara is going too fucking far.

 

"How couldn't I? I can tell you're always holding something back. And it just confirmed it when I asked your little friend at dinner the other day~ Kishitani Shinra, right? The short one with glasses~ He told me all about your little strength- or maybe it'd be little weakness- who knows?" Orihara laughs. "He told me that you've had this little.. condition, since you were little. You used to have much, much more trouble controlling yourself. You almost hurt that little brother you care for so much, did you not?"

 

Shizuo doesn't even bother to conceal his expression of shock. "You fucker..! Leave Kasuka out of this!" He rises from where he's seated, only for Orihara, drink in hand, to push him back down, which only works because Shizuo is actively resisting using his strength.

 

"So mean~.." Orihara smirks.

 

Shizuo sighs uneasily. "Anyways, I really shouldn't be here, I have to get back to the station. Unless you have anything to tell me. About the case. Like if you.." Brain clouded with exhaustion and anger, Shizuo struggles for the right questions to interrogate him with, "If you heard people on your property.."

 

"No. Sorry to disappoint you, Hei-chan~" Orihara observes him as he sips from his glass of God knows what.

 

"Why the hell... Why do you always sound so happy, even when I'm asking about the murder cases..?" Shizuo rubs his temples, starting to get a terrible headache. Probably from not sleeping..

 

"It's just so, so fascinating to talk about humanity! Dead or alive, they never cease to amaze me!" Okay, what the fuck? Shizuo is growing more and more suspicious of this fucker by the minute.

 

"Mr. Orihara, where does this human obsession come from?" Shizuo just has to ask, since it's just tugging at the back of his head, and it's been tugging since Shizuo first questioned him.

 

A 'glad you asked' look appears on Orihara's face. "Well~.. You know how in school, you were given two types of litmus paper? You eventually get bored, since each type of paper only gives off one or two reactions~ Humans, on the other hand, have many, many types of reactions, and those reactions have all kinds of limitations~" Orihara pauses for effect, this really isn't the time for that, "For example, if you were to stab a human, they'd bleed~ They might even bleed to death~"

 

God.. This man is seriously fucking.. messed up. Shizuo feels he has every right to drag Orihara to the station for a legitimate interrogation. 

 

No, he won't do that just yet. He could just be translating Orihara's words into something worse than it is.. No. No. Orihara is definitely not stable. He may not be guilty, but he's definitely got something going on in that head of his. He seems extremely pleased with his little litmus paper/humanity comparison.

 

"I should be going.. I have to tell the other officers about what I found, and.. And I need to rest." Shizuo knows he won't sleep a minute, but it's an excuse to get himself out of there. Anything will do. 

 

"That's so mean of you to leave, but I suppose, if you really have to.." Orihara sighs in a way that oozes guilt trip, he's digging for Shizuo's weak points to convince him to stay. And it won't work. 

 

Shizuo knows something might happen if he stays there. If Orihara knows he's onto him, or at least thinks he is, he could hold him captive. Which would mean Shizuo would end up in trouble for not holding back and attacking Orihara in self defense, or he'd be the slimy, creepy fucker's latest victim. Without saying anything, Shizuo stands and walks out, hoping his nerves don't rise as he walks more briskly.

 

"Ah.. Well, have fun playing policeman, Hei-chan!" Orihara waves him off with a smirk, and Shizuo blocks it out.

 

He doesn't calm until he's out at his car, far from Orihara's house but still on his property. Hands shaking with anxiety from attempted restraint, Shizuo reaches for a battered box of cigarettes laying in a cup holder in his car. He lights one, and feels a slight buzz before a calm as he smokes it.

 

His heart says "you really ought to go see your girlfriend and your brother", but his mind argues "not till I solve this. Whoever the killer is, they know about me, and I can't lead them right to my loved ones".

 

Sighing wearily, Shizuo puts out his cigarette, and starts the car, pulling out.

 

It's started raining again, and he didn't even notice. How long was he sneaking around Orihara's mansion for..? The rain falling from heavy, dark clouds makes telling the time of day or night hard.. 

 

As he's leaving the grounds of Orihara's mansion, he hears the screeching caw of what's probably a crow, and his guess is proved right when he sees one, flying to get out of the rain. Paying it no mind, he drives on, hoping he didn't stay at the Orihara place through the night.

 

What he hoped hadn't happen, did. When he gets to the station, Shinra and Kyohei are there already.

 

"Shizuo, where were you??" Shinra seems more curious than worried.

 

"The Orihara place... Turns out, another murder took place there. You know that kid who came to the station? I found his body," Shizuo explains, annoyed, tired, and now nauseous as he presents them with the photographs of Ryugamine Mikado's body.

 

"Oh my God.." Kyohei sounds horrified, even though his voice is still cool and level.

 

"Did you find the body where the first victim was?" Shinra asks.

 

"Yes, and I just fuckin' know Orihara has something to do with this! I went to ask him if he'd heard anything," Shizuo conveniently leaves out the part about snooping around, "And he was talking about his human obsession and he gave me this creepy ass comparison between people and litmus paper! He's just getting more suspicious, I swear.."

 

"H-hey, Shizuo-kun, calm down-"

 

"Don't tell me to calm down! You told him about my strength.. thing, didn't you Shinra?!" Shizuo's exhaustion melts for the moment as he gets angrier and angrier.

 

"Shizuo, I was- He-"

 

"Ugh.. I can't believe that fucking.. fucking bastard!" Shizuo has been pacing so much that Shinra and Kyohei think he might make a ditch in the station floor.

 

"Shizuo, you really need to calm down a little.. We'll go try to talk to Mr. Orihara for you.. You haven't slept for days.." Reasonable, logical Kyohei. Shizuo honestly wouldn't know what to do without him.

 

"Yeah. Rest up a bit, okay, Shizuo-kun?" Shinra says, tone firm and guiding, but still light in that Shinra-esque way.

 

"Fine.. I will..." Shizuo hopes they won't notice his lie. He won't rest until he finds out if Orihara is guilty..

 

"Good," Kyohei says, and flashes him a smile of reassurance. He leaves the station with Shinra, leaving Shizuo all alone, since nobody else is in this particular station at the moment.

 

"Ngh.. I should, yeah.." Shizuo reaches for his phone, dialing his girlfriend's number.

 

"Shizuo?" His worries melt away for the time being as her voice meets his ears.

 

"Hey.. 'Rona, hey.. Sorry I haven't been at home, work is.. I've had a lot lately.. This stupid, confusing case.. And it just got even more complicated.." Shizuo rubs his temples, a calm better than the one he gets from a smoke letting fall from the stressful high of the week.

 

"Mm.. That's terrible.." Despite her monotone, Vorona doesn't sound like she doesn't care, and Shizuo gets pleasantly lost in her gently accented voice.

 

"I'll come home when I can, I promise, 'Rona.." Shizuo smiles, sitting down to chat a little more.

 

"Okay. If you're checking on me, Shizuo.. You ought to check up on Kasuka.. He is your brother."

 

"Mm.. Okay, I will.. Thanks for making me feel a little better.. I'm just so tired, and stressed out, and.. fuck.." Shizuo runs a hand through his hair.

 

"You should rest, Shizuo. An average human our age needs at least eight hours of sleep a day. And I presume you haven't slept since the last time you came home." Shizuo chuckles at Vorona's analytical way of telling him she's worried.

 

"You'd be right, 'Rona.." Shizuo says with a weary laugh, reaching to light a cigarette.

 

"Are you smoking? That is incredibly detrimental to your health.." Vorona reminds him, gentle yet still monotone. 

 

"Mhm... I know, but it's just one.. They're relaxing.." Shizuo laughs sheepishly. "I gotta go, I've got some stuff to put together. I'll try to see you when I can, 'kay?" 

 

"Affirmative." Shizuo can't help but smile at how firm and calculating she is in her answer.

 

"Bye.." He hangs up, and that temporary peace washes away as the rain continues outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do my own variant on Izaya's litmus paper line from ketsu, since I thought it'd fit in well, and it's just a personal favorite line for me. Also, I kinda tried to fix up Shinra's personality a little in this chapter, since I got a review saying he wasn't in character, which I agree with ^^ Also don't mind the light Shizurona, I just thought the poor guy needed a bit of happiness.


	5. Dying Hope

Shizuo groans, lifting his head up from the desk.. Wait, shit shit shit, he fell asleep?! The last thing he remembers is being on the phone with Vorona, and.. Shit, he must've been so tired that he passed out.. He stands quickly, going to see if Shinra and Kyohei are back yet. No. Shit!

 

No, no, they'll be fine. Shizuo steadies himself, and checks his pockets quickly for the stuff he has from Orihara's place.

 

One knife, and one mysterious bottle of red liquid. Shizuo picks up the bottle first, and opens it up.

 

"Ghhh.. What is that?" He sniffs the bottle. "That's.. Th-that's blood..!" Shizuo retches, what the fuck was Orihara doing with BLOOD?! That sick fuck! Shizuo quickly reaches for his phone to call Shinra, he's making them drag the bastard in for questioning.

 

"Hello? Shizuo?" Shinra answers calmly.

 

"Tell Orihara you're taking him in for questioning." Shizuo snaps into the phone, his hands shaking. "Cuff the fucker if he resists."

 

"S-Shizuo, what's going o-"

 

"Don't question it, just do it!" Shizuo realizes he went too far when he hears Shinra squeak in fear and hang up. At least he's going to do it..

 

At some point in the next half hour, Shinra and Kyohei return, and Shizuo runs out to the front of the station to see them dragging a handcuffed Orihara out of the car.

 

"Hei-chan! Was this your idea? Very funny~" Orihara pretends to be offended, and looks up at Shizuo with innocent eyes.

 

"I have every fucking reason to drag you in here." Shizuo growls in reply.

 

"With no evidence? I knew you were dumb, but~.." Orihara smiles.

 

"Shut up, you fucking scumbag..!" Shizuo snarls, grabbing Orihara by the arm and firmly dragging him inside the station.

 

"You ought to be fired for this barbaric behavior~ I could report you," Orihara says with a saccharine smile, allowing Shizuo to drag him into the station.

 

"Shut up," Shizuo growls, sitting the shorter man down forcefully. "I found these," He pauses to hold up the knife and the blood bottle, "In your home, Mr. Orihara. Do you have anything to tell me about them?"

 

"Oh, is that blood? That's awful~ Why would that be in my home?? I'm not a bloodthirsty monster~" Orihara pauses, "Unlike Hei-chan.." He says under his breath, loud enough for Shizuo to hear, but so quiet that Shinra and Kyohei won't.

 

"You little fucking--!!"

 

"Shizuo, calm down," Kyohei says firmly as he and Shinra attempt to restrain him. Orihara is a fucking manipulative bastard! The worst fucking human being Shizuo has ever met!! 

 

Shizuo hangs his head, letting the molten anger bubbling in his body cool. "I..I'm sorry."

 

"Hei-chan, you're like a dog, and Kishitani-kun and Kadota-kun are like your masters," Orihara smiles, and lowers the volume of his voice, "You have about the intelligence of a lowly dog too.." 

 

Orihara is a fucking psychopath! "You bastard--"

 

"Shizuo!" Both Shinra and Kyohei reprimand him at once. 

 

"We apologize, Orihara-san, Shizuo has been on edge more than usual lately.." Kyohei says, gentle as a juxtaposition to Shizuo's molten hate.

 

"I really don't mind~ Now, I think Hei-chan would be able to properly question me for once in his life if you two left~ Go on." Orihara's smile flattens as he gets firm and commanding, and Shizuo's two kouhai leave.

 

"Tell me the truth for once, you lying bastard," Shizuo growls, keeping a safe distance between him and Orihara.

 

"That's rather vague. And besides, Shizuo," The officer shudders hearing Orihara use his first name, "I've already been over this with you, I had nothing to do with the murders. And I never will have anything to do with the murders, unless you keep involving me.. Then you might be next on the body count, just for your incessant pestering." Shizuo tenses at Orihara's threat. "Also, that bottle is not full of blood, you accusatory moron."

 

"I can have it sent in to be tested, and prove it!" Shizuo knows he's losing rationality faster than Orihara is losing credible sanity, but he doesn't care.

 

"Would that really be a good idea? I mean, you did steal into my house and steal it as faulty evidence~" Orihara smiles, and it gets Shizuo to shut up, since the bastard is fucking right. "So why don't you just give it back?"

 

Shizuo takes a minute to decide if that's really a good idea. It is, but it isn't. "Besides, even with the nose of a dog like I'm sure you have, you couldn't tell if it was blood from smell alone. I'm wai~tiiing~" Orihara hums the last sentence, like some villain from a film.

 

Shizuo decides to give Orihara the slightest amount of trust, since he does have a point about not being able to get it tested without some rather incriminating explanations of how he acquired it. With a click that weighs heavy on Shizuo's conscience (he could be letting a murderer out of the punishment he deserves!), he unlocks the handcuffs fastened firmly around Orihara's wrists, and places the "stolen" possessions in his hands. "Don't make me regret letting you out of here this easy.." He snarls, and Orihara, letting the silence hold, walks out without a word, his shoes producing soft thuds on the station's wooden and then tile floors.

 

Once Orihara is gone, probably calling a driver or something of the like to send him home, Shinra and Kyohei return.

 

"You just.. Let him go?" Kyohei seems more surprised than angry or anything, considering Shizuo's previous insistence on apprehending Orihara.

 

"...Yes.. I.. couldn't find any evidence talking to him.." Shizuo feel like all his energy has just disappeared, and there's a feeling of hopelessness twisting in his chest.

 

"Oh. You know, that's not normal for you at all, Shizuo, you really should take a break," Shinra says, and Kyohei nods in agreement firmly.

 

"..I will.. You guys be careful, okay? Don't get yourselves killed," Shizuo laughs weakly, and the two smile a little as Shizuo leaves the station, and gets into his car, to go and have some peace for the first time in weeks. 

 

Shizuo's calm is gone when his phone vibrates, with a text that's from an unknown number on screen. The text reads "Do you care deeply about your beloved Kasuka? You certainly don't seem to, with how you're prioritizing work over your family."

 

"What the fuck..?" Shizuo's brows furrow, and he reads the guilt tripping text over and over again. He hesitantly decides it's just someone fucking with him, and pulls out of the parking lot of the station, driving.. Someplace, he hasn't decided yet.

 

When Shizuo pulls up at an empty park, near the edge of the city, he looks at his phone, and finds another text from that number. This one reads "Care deeply for your loved ones, they may disappear from this world at a moment's notice." 

 

"Who the hell.." Shizuo lets out a shudder. It has to be a trick, there's- there's nobody who would.. kill.. his family, is there? No, there's not, he tells himself forcefully.

 

Trying his hardest to retain some calm, Shizuo walks around the park, taking in the bitter cold autumn surroundings, untill he hears thunder start to roll in, at which point he, slowly and tiredly, makes his way back to his car.

 

Sitting in the driver's seat, he takes out a cigarette and lights it up, remembering Vorona's constant warnings about how bad smoking is for him. He disregards them, since smoking does calm him down, and, considering the way his body is, it'll kill him slower, and he'll probably have a normal lifespan.

 

His phone vibrates again. The text says "I see you have not a shred of care for your loved ones, you disgusting human." Another text appears that says "monster, not human."

 

Shizuo feels anxiety fill his gut, and he starts the car, pulling out as fast as he can. He has to check on Kasuka this instant, he knows it. 

 

Not caring if he's speeding, Shizuo is going to get to Kasuka's apartment before someone can do something to hurt him. Anxiety turns him into a reckless driver and he's feeling the worst he's felt in his life. 

 

Fuck, fuck, he can barely even remember the damn directions to his brother's apartment! Shit, what if he moved?! What if Kasuka isn't even in his apartment?! Shizuo's hands tremble on the steering wheel of his car, and they continue to shake even as he stops the car in front of the building that, to his knowledge, Kasuka still lives in.

 

Heart beating a million times a second, he takes the stairs since the elevator will be too slow. 

 

The top floor of the building is Kasuka's penthouse, and Shizuo fumbles through his pockets for the key given to him by his brother. Shaking, he shoves the key in the lock and twists it. Feeling like he'll break the door, he gently opens it instead of just shoving it open. 

 

It's too quiet.. Shizuo looks around the entrance hall, not bothering to remove his shoes. "Kasu..ka?" He inquires into the silence, with no response. 

 

Entering the living room, he finds nothing, but gives a confused look to a few knocked over things beside the bookshelf. Someone was here. He knows it. 

 

He checks the kitchen next, nothing. The sink is faintly dripping, like it was turned on but not turned off all the way. Shivering, he moves to the hallway again.

 

"Kasuka?" He calls out, casting his glance towards the cracked open bedroom door. "Sorry to barge in, but I just.." He approaches the door to open it, since he can't see anything.

 

This isn't something he should be doing, even if Kasuka is family.. But he just knows something is wrong, especially since he hasn't heard a single person in the apartment.

 

And he knows Kasuka should be there, since one of his cars was parked visibly in one of the building's garages. 

 

With a slow and hesitant push, Shizuo opens the door, his gaze planted to the floor.

 

The silence is chilling, there's nobody there, which he knows, even without looking up from the floor.

 

He slowly lets his gaze travel up to look around the bedroom. He does a sweeping look around, but his gaze freezes at the bed, his face contorting into a locked expression of horror. 

 

No, no, no.. Oh, God.. Shizuo steps closer to the bed, praying to God that it's not real, that it's some sleep deprived, paranoid hallucination.

 

Blood splatters the headboard and sheets of the bed, some even dripping down onto the floor. 

 

And there, right in the center of the bed.. A dying expression of fear frozen on his face...

 

There lays Shizuo's brother, Kasuka Heiwajima..

 

With a deep, deep hole from a knife... squarely between his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy sh--


	6. Helplessness Channeled to Revenge

It isn't real. It can't be.. 

 

Please.. Please don't let it be real..

 

The blood, please let him be imagining it.. 

 

With a shaking body, Shizuo approaches the form on the bed, the form that was his brother just hours ago.

 

"O-oh, God, K-Kasuka..." Shizuo refuses to believe that it's a dead body, but the open eyes and open wounds prevent him from telling himself his brother is asleep. His face becomes damp with tears, and he feels an indescribable sorrow soak into his body..

 

He doesn't know what to do anymore..

 

His gaze slowly travels to Kasuka's hand. Is that.. a note..? Shizuo pulls the note from that cold, tightly closed hand. 

 

The note reads, "Please, forgive me," And Shizuo shoves it in his pocket without reading the rest, it's faked, that isn't Kasuka's handwriting, and he isn't stupid enough to think that... THAT, was a suicide.

 

This was the killer's declaration of war on him, telling him to stay out of it for good, or more of his loved ones would be hurt.

 

Orihara's declaration of war on him... Shizuo's fists clench till the palms of his hands are dripping blood onto the already bloodied floor, and tears burning his eyes go unnoticed as he stares without looking at his brother's body.

 

Blood covered hands digging his phone from his pocket, Shizuo calls the police station, since he can't transport the body himself, and he doesn't want to even try.

 

"Shizuo? Is something wrong?" Kyohei's voice, heavy with concern, greets him.

 

"Kasuka is... O-Orihara... killed him... I don't..." Shizuo gasps out, struggling to say the words aloud as his tears become noticed when they start to fall.

 

"Your brother was killed? O-oh, God.. There are going to be people there soon, are you at his house?" 

 

"I am.." Shizuo nods, forgetting he isn't speaking to Kyohei in person.

 

"I'm going to hang up so I can send some officers there. Just stay where you are, and dont touch anything where the body is, okay?" Kyohei hangs up without getting a response, leaving Shizuo alone with dead silence aside from his thoughts, and the voice of Orihara taunting him in his head for being someone who prioritized career over family till it was too late. 

 

Shizuo buries his face in his hands, desperately trying to hide himself from those thoughts, and only ending up with two bloody handprints on his face, the blood not washed away by tears.

 

Rain begins outside, and he wishes the rain would wash him back a few weeks, back to before this mess began.

 

He staggers out from the bedroom when he hears the sound of police sirens down on the streets below. There aren't any windows that allow him to see the street below, so he has to passively wait till Shinra, Kyohei, and a group of other officers burst in through the door. He continues to be passive, sitting in the living room without making a sound as the apartment is investigated, and as the body is removed from the bedroom. He keeps his head down, so they won't see the blood from his own wounds on his face.

 

He can't do anything about any of it, so he doesn't.. 

 

Orihara's voice keeps mocking him in an endless tirade of fabricated sentences, leaving his head spinning.

 

He's at fault for not being able to save his own brother... 

 

He looks down at his hands, at the deep marks from his fingernails, where the blood is finally not dripping and making a mess.

 

"Shizuo-kun," He looks up at Shinra's voice when the silence is broken, "Oh, God, what happened to you, you look terrible--"

 

"What happened to me?! My little brother was just fucking murdered, when I could've prevented it, that's what fucking happened to me!!" Shizuo rises from his passive seat to tower over his friend, a shake to his voice as he just gets angrier and angrier, mad at himself but taking it out on poor Shinra.

 

"I know, a-and I'm sorry, I just meant that.. You're bleeding, and you look like you're going to faint.." Shinra is hesitant to continue, since he could be a victim of Shizuo's outburst.

 

"You don't have to treat me like I'm fucking fragile, just because of what happened! All I want right now is for all of this to have never fucking happened!!" Shizuo knows he's acting immaturely, wanting to go back in time, when something like that is impossible, and lashing out at Shinra, who had nothing to do with it.

 

Shinra watches him for a few silent moments, before walking away by a few steps. "I'll give you some time to clear your head, just don't feel like this was your fault, Shizuo-kun.." 

 

Shizuo sinks back down to his seat on the couch, watching as Shinra leaves to assist Kyohei and the other officers down outside with transporting the... Shizuo can't bring himself to even think it.

 

After sitting alone in this apartment that he will most likely never visit again, he stands, walking with slow, heavy steps. He ventures down the stairs slowly, his heart heavier that anything else he's held. Pain pulls him, he almost falls down the stairs a few times. Outside in the stirring rain, he leans against the wall, and shakily dials Vorona's number.

 

"Hello? Shizuo?" Vorona's voice makes his knees shake with relief, at least she wasn't killed too... 

 

"V-Vorona.. Y-you're okay, thank God.. My brother, he's.. he.." Shizuo tries to explain what happened, but finds a lump in his throat.

 

"Your co-worker notified me.. Kasuka was killed. I am sorry.." Despite her flat tone and mechanical pronunciation, Vorona sounds genuinely sympathetic, and Shizuo doesn't feel patronized when she takes pity on him. 

 

Slumping down against the wall, Shizuo reaches for his damp, crumpled up hat, which lay abandoned, tossed aside, from his earlier rush into the apartment, pulling it onto his head.

 

"'Rona... It is.. raining, right..?" He asks softly into the phone, pulling his hat down to shadow his eyes, and conceal the dark rings of tiredness and red rings of tears now gone, as new tears cloud his sight.

 

"Affirmative.." Vorona can tell he's falling down into despair, "Shizuo, it's going to be all right. There is an incredibly high chance you will apprehend Kasuka's killer."

 

"He'll still be dead..! Even if I catch him, Kasuka is still gone!" Shizuo tightens his grip on his phone, straightening from his slump against the wall.

 

"That is true, I'm aware of that. I assure you that your brother would want that man to be caught, however," Vorona responds, gentle, but still level headed, logical Vorona.

 

The tense in Shizuo's shoulders releases, and with a shaking sigh, he bids Vorona a gentle goodbye, promising to come home the second the killer is caught, and hangs up the phone, shoving it in his pocket.

 

Feeling he can get Orihara, it was Orihara, Shizuo walks with hard, heavy steps out to his car, his guilt about his brother's death stewing in with his anger and want for justice to be brought and creating a stir that resembles the harsh rain beating down on his wrathful form.

 

Anger burning in the pits of his stomach melts once again for a moment, making him falter as he's about to get into his car, but it burns bright again when fabricated guilt inducing words recited in Orihara's voice make a want for Orihara's crimes to be shown burn deep in him.

 

With a slam of his car door, Shizuo starts up his car, pulling out. He's got Orihara, he's sure of it, and he's sure the bastard knows it, so he has to be fast, before Orihara can slip from his grasp, before his chance to get him is lost.

 

"Fuck! Oh my God, Jesus Christ, fuck fuck fuck!" Shizuo curses wildly at the jammed up road, jammed with cars as far as the eye can see. And he's not going to an emergency as far as anyone else on this road could see, so he's trapped. 

 

There's no point in getting mad at these people, he tells himself, and he takes a deep breath, and turns on the radio while he waits for the traffic to disappate. An old song comes on the radio, and his lips form up into a gentle smile, as the song's slow, almost mournful tune allows him a bit of peace for the moment.

 

He's always loved this song, and it always seems to come on when he needs to feel at peace. The rain continues to beat down outside, and it seems to be getting colder. It is getting close to winter, and Shizuo hopes it won't start to snow today. 

 

Softly, he mouths the words to the song on the radio, matching the way the lonely sounding female vocalist sings. The traffic refuses to thin, and he feels a pang of uselessness run through his body, until he realizes... Orihara can't get out. The busy roads between here and there trap him too. Orihara is stuck until he is unstuck, and that gives him the most relief he's had in damn near a month. 

 

With a deep breath, Shizuo tries to settle his twisting nerves, feeling determined to make that fucking bastard pay for what he did. No holds barred this time, Orihara is coming with him... or Shizuo is walking out of there to say that Orihara was killed by him.

 

Shizuo allows himself to calm, he needs to save it for actually speaking to Orihara.

 

The traffic slowly begins to clear, as Shizuo picks up with the song on the radio in it's last minute, a wave of calm going over him at the tune.

 

Finally, the road is clear of heavy traffic, and as it gets darker, and... much too cold, Shizuo continues his drive. He picks up speed, he has to get there before Orihara can slip from capture.

 

He's going to pay, he's going to pay...

 

Shizuo pulls up in front of Orihara's gate. Finding it locked, he decides capturing him is more important than waiting to be let in. Getting out of the car, Shizuo finds that, just his fucking luck, it is snowing. Not very hard yet, but it's going to be a damned hindrance. 

 

Trying to ignore the windy swirls of white powder clouding his vision, Shizuo climbs the cold metal gate, tearing a small gash in his leg, which he hardly notices.

 

Storming through the quickly thickening snow, Shizuo ignores the cold which turns his fingertips a reddish purple, he has more important things to worry about. He doesn't give a damn when the wind blows his hat into the forest somewhere, and his hand travels to the gun at his side. He won't use it to hurt anyone, for a threat at most. 

 

Trudging through the muddy, snowy woods to Orihara's mansion, Shizuo can feel his heartbeat accelerate, blood rushing deep in his ears. It's cold, it's so cold, but he has to... For Kasuka, and for those poor kids that Orihara fucking killed.. 

 

Shizuo almost flat out yells, but knows he'd just draw attention too early, and his vocal chords feel borderline frozen from the bitter air travelling to his lungs. The wind whips his hair around, obscuring his vision, but he presses on. After all, what'd a little obscured sight ever do to hinder any decent cop?

 

The snow is already laying thick and white around him, and his veins show on his hands, a mottled webbing of blueish purple on pale skin.

 

He swears he hears footsteps, but it could be an animal. No, that kind of "no, it's fine" thinking is what got him here. It's what killed his brother... 

 

Paranoia hits, and he turns, seeing nothing. 

 

The wind blocks out a voice he would've barely heard anyways, but he manages to hear it and whip around.

 

Standing a good distance away, a grin on his pale face, his short dark hair whipping in the white torrents of wind and snow, and dressed in a white and red outfit that's less than a suit, but too formal for standing in the snow in, like a demon attending a Christmas party, stands Orihara Izaya.

 

There's blood splattering his white vest and pants, and quite possibly his red shirt too.

 

"How sweet of you to drop by, Hei-chan~ However, I wasn't expecting to have a monster come in, and in weather like this, too," Izaya grins like a demonic Cheshire Cat, and Shizuo catches a glimpse of drops of blood on his face. 

 

"I see you weren't expecting anyone..." Shizuo retorts, in no mood to banter with a serial killer. "Orihara Izaya. You're under arrest for the brutal murder of three known people. And if you resist arrest... I will use force."

 

Izaya's hand slips into his pocket, and something goes speeding past Shizuo's cheek, lightly grazing it, the wound frozen by bitter wind. Turning for a split second, he sees that it was a knife, that's now stuck deep in the bark of a tree. 

 

Shizuo checks his pockets. No weapons, not even a pair of cuffs.

 

Hand to hand is his only option, and he can just pray that Izaya won't...

 

Try anything.

 

This is what he has to do.

 

A man who hates violences' only option is to fight.

 

It's... funny...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving, to all my readers who are American like me ^^ I would've had this out earlier today, but I was pretty busy, haha. Hoooo, this story is getting pretty close to it's end! 
> 
> Also, a side note, the song Shizuo hears on the radio is "Tsugaru Kaiyko Fuyugeshiki", because of the whole Shizuo/that song connection, and because I listened to it basically on loop the whole time I was writing this chapter~


	7. Blood on Snow

Violence isn't the answer.

Unless you're dealing with Orihara Izaya....

 

With a deep growl from the bottom of his throat, Shizuo throws himself towards his opponent, the bitter wind biting his skin. There will be no respect, Izaya doesn't even deserve the small, now insignificant respect of being called by his surname. And Shizuo plans to fight him all out, not one hold barred.

 

"I'm afraid you won't take me down that easy, Hei-chan~" Izaya's voice is too light and mocking for someone like him, and he sidesteps away from the attack with a lick of his lips.

 

Snarling, Shizuo regains his footing in the building snow, fists clenched tight. He sets some ground rules for his own strength in his head. He can't kill Izaya. That would just fuck him over, since nobody knows what the bastard did.

 

"You murdered my brother you piece of SHIT!!" Shizuo roars, throwing a punch straight to Izaya's smug face. It lands, and the man staggers back, holding his nose. Shizuo wonders how in God's name he didn't go flying from that.

 

"I did nothing of the sort, are your delusions really this horrendous?" Izaya laughs, despite the blood dripping from his steadily swelling nose. 

 

Shizuo barely has any time to react when another of Izaya's blades speeds towards him. His pain tolerance is built so high that the knife to the shoulder only gets a pained curse to escape his lips as he yanks the blade out and throws it back with poor aim.

 

Shizuo's hand itches to pull the gun that's for only the most severe things from it's holster at his hip, but he tells himself that killing someone isn't an option, even if they are utter scum like this man. When Izaya closes in on him to slash him, Shizuo throws haphazard punch after haphazard punch, the occasional sturdy thud telling him he barely landed any hits. 

 

Izaya is in pain, but he stands straight and doesn't show it, wiping blood from his clearly broken nose with one hand. Shizuo growls when Izaya moves just out of reach, forced to chase him through the snowy grounds when he slips away.

 

He won't get away. It won't happen, Shizuo promises himself, hating how Izaya manages to always be just too far away.

 

There's frozen blood on his knuckles, Izayas' or his, he doesn't know, but it's blood... Blood is the paint of violence, and Shizuo loathes the sight of it.

 

He has to quickly evade a knife that nearly hits him in the chest. Adrenaline and a want for revenge coursing through his veins gets him closer to Izaya, and he manages to reach out and clutch Izaya's throat in his fist. 

 

Laughter rising up through his blocked throat, Izaya smiles, as if he thinks Shizuo doesn't have the guts to rip him to shreds then and there. 

 

And then Izaya has somehow escaped his grasp, bruises forming fast in the shape of two sturdy handprints on his neck. Shizuo snarls, how did he--?!

 

"I'm sorry, Hei-chan, but that's not going to kill me~" Izaya taunts with a smile on his face, getting stupidly close.

 

Stupid because it allows Shizuo to hit him with a solid kick right to the stomach, which sends him tumbling backwards into the still falling snow with a sickening crack.

 

Despite this, Izaya rises again- like a fucking cockroach, despite the fact that his left foot definitely shouldn't be facing that way. Shizuo's starting to believe Izaya can't be taken down, and that really doesn't seem far from the truth. Izaya tosses some mocking, truly nasty words his way, about how he's an unwanted monster, making rage boil in his chest.

 

"Shut up!! Shut up, SHUT UP!!!" Shizuo screams, tackling Izaya in a determined effort to beat him till he doesn't open his mouth.

 

"And your little brother is- or should I say was?- a monster too, never showing any emotion, even towards you, his own family~" Izaya smirks, his words sending molten hate straight down to Shizuo's core as he beats down on him with all his strength.

 

Despite his face being a bloody pulp by now, Izaya manages to smile still, and drive a blade into Shizuo's chest, not hitting his heart, but just missing it. Shizuo continues his desperate attempts to destroy him, finally deciding that using his only weapon isn't the worst thing he could do as he draws his gun. 

 

His vision is unfocused, and nausea is twisting his insides as he shakily raises the gun.

 

Right as he fires, Izaya is out from under him, and the bullet goes through his left kneecap in a burst of gore. Desperate to take him down, Shizuo fires again, this time hitting his right leg as the bullet bursts through his thigh in an explosion of red.

 

Izaya collapses to the ground, still conscious somehow. He'll be dead soon, and Shizuo knows this, scrambling away.

 

In his hurry, he drops his gun, which is used against him only seconds later. The world seems to go into slow motion as he's shot through the shoulder, nowhere fatal, but incredibly painful still. He doesn't know where the gun is, the snow could've buried it by now, so, holding his shoulder to stop the bleeding, he drags himself to the gate through the torrents of white around him.

 

He collapses with one hand on the cold metal gate, eyelids fluttering shut then open as blood drips from his open wounds, staining the pure snow. With a shaking hand, he takes his phone from his pocket, the little device wet with melted snow and blood. In an attempt to save himself and maybe, hopefully catch Izaya in the process, he dials Shinra's number.

 

"Shizuo? What's wrong, are you alright??" Shinra answers immediately, thank God.

 

"I-I'm... I'm at the Orihara p..place, we h-had a confrontation..." Shizuo gasps out through ragged breaths.

 

"Oh God, you don't sound good... We'll be there soon, I'm calling an ambulance, just hold on, alright? God, Shizuo, why'd you go over there, you idiot..." Shinra sounds horrified that Shizuo would've done a thing like that. Shinra makes him promise not to move from wherever he is, before hanging up, leaving Shizuo surrounded by the unsteady beat of his heart, the blowing of the wind, and his ragged breathing. It's not like he could really move if he wanted to.

 

His bitter laughter turns to a coughing fit, and he spits blood into his hand. He's decided he won't die, since even though Izaya is probably laying bleeding out in the snow still, he can't be sure if the bastard is dead. He does allow himself a little rest, allowing his eyelids to flutter shut at the sound of sirens wailing from the road that leads to the Orihara place.

 

~~~~

 

Shizuo wakes up to the sound of beeping.

 

He slowly opens his eyes, taking in his surroundings. White walls, the one in front of him has a TV mounted to it. Yeah, it's a hospital, no question... 

 

All the memories from however many days ago that was flood back to his mind like he just got over amnesia or recalled a dream from the night before. He looks at the patching and bandages over his shoulder, and he can feel some on his chest too.

 

Panic sends a shake through his body as he realizes he doesn't know what happened to Izaya. The bastard could be anywhere, he could be in a hospital, recuperating under a different name. 

 

He could've gotten away, and the thought that he failed the only thing he set out to do makes him feel worthless, like he can't do a damn thing right in his life.

 

"Shizuo..." He hears a calm but concerned voice from the doorway, and looks up to see Kyohei standing there with Shinra. 

 

"W-what happened to Orihara?!" Shizuo splutters out, coughing so hard his lungs ache.

 

"Shizuo.... We.. we didn't find him, we searched the whole property once the ambulance took you away.." Shinra gives a 'please don't hurt us, we really are sorry' look.

 

"Dammit.... It's... it's all my fault.." Shizuo clenches the bedsheets in his fists, his self loathing dragging him down. He can't even do the only thing he's being trying to do for weeks now, and innocent people were killed because of his failure. And he couldn't even avenge them...

 

"There was blood everywhere, just how big was the fight you two got into?" Kyohei asks him, face twisted in concern.

 

"I shot. Twice..." Is all Shizuo says, not wanting particularly for them to know he had full intent to kill Izaya. He'd be in trouble for that since there still technically was no proof they could see of Izaya's guilt.

 

"I can see he put up a fight..." Shinra says under his breath, observing Shizuo's wounds. It takes a lot to put Shizuo in the hospital...

 

"How long was I out for..?" Shizuo is almost afraid to hear the answer, the longer he was out, the more time Izaya has to possibly recuperate in safety.

 

"Two days."

 

"No, no no no no no...!" Shizuo grits his teeth, bandaged hands clenching into fists. Izaya's definetly made an escape, there's no doubt.

 

"Shizuo, we're just going to leave for a bit, you should rest a little more, you're acting really strange.." Shinra raises a wary eyebrow, and he and Kyohei escort themselves out. 

 

Shizuo feels completely sick, like he's going to throw up, his head is spinning and there's this sinking pain that makes it seem like his organs are in his feet. 

 

He's going to get Izaya, he's going to get him before he's dead.

 

He'll do it if it kills him, he'll do it if it doesn't, he just wants to give Izaya what he deserves for hurting people who didn't deserve to be hurt.

 

Shizuo's chest twists with agony at the memory of Kasuka's face, eyes glazed over and skin a sickly purplish blue, blood dripping down his forehead. And it only gets worse when he thinks about those poor kids who died before that..

 

He doesn't know if he wants Izaya apprehended or just fucking dead, he just wants that living scum to be somewhere he can't hide, somewhere that he won't be able to hurt people who didn't do a damn thing wrong!

 

Shizuo stops his mental tirade when he looks down and sees his shaking hands are clenched into fists. He lets his internal tension fall, still internally promising to enact revenge and karma. 

 

He takes a look at his body, hoping to gauge how long his body will take to heal. He should only be in the hospital a week or two at most, but that's still too dammed long! But he has no choice but to wait.. 

 

Mark my words, Orihara Izaya, you will get what you deserve, Shizuo thinks, his head starting to ache with stress. Now he feels that all too awful, familiar feeling of being unable to do a thing in the world right, the feeling that makes his chest burning hot with that burn of emotional anguish. He lays back in the uncomfortable white bed, his beating heart steadying from its erratic quick pattering. 

 

He's stuck between disbelief and anger still that Izaya survived. The bastard called him a monster because of the way his body is, but he can't be that different. And Shizuo's thoughts locking onto Izaya once more send him downhill, until he eyes are burning with tears as he regrets his inability to save anyone.

 

Shizuo's blurred-by-tears eyes slowly travel to the window, where the snow is gentler, but falling again outside. The snowy city outside just reminds him of his blood splattering the snow, staining it a muddy red.

 

That old song plays on the radio again, from a speaker out in the hall, just soft enough that he nearly missed its soft and lonely melody. 

 

His ears meet the song more clearly when the door opens, as a young, female nurse with dark hair that brushes her shoulders and dark eyes enters the room with his pitiful (though still more cheerful than he is) meal on a tray.

 

"Your friends told me you woke up, Heiwajima-san," She smiles, placing the tray on the bed over his lap, "It seems you took quite a beating."

 

Shizuo simply nods, examining the colorless food, and deciding eating it would be better than not and just stomaching it. He slowly eats the food without much flavor, still glad he has it, since it's more substance than he's had at once in at least a week.

 

The nurse makes idle talk, which he just nods or shakes his head to accordingly, tuning her out in favor of the music in the hall, which makes him feel just a little better for now.

 

He will, without any doubt, catch the man who's made his life hell, but he needs a little healing first, just so he can function.

 

He coldly promises to Izaya in his head, that wherever he is, he won't be able to hide for all his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took too long to write, I'm so sorry! Thank you to all of the people who have read this fic, and this is only the first portion of a longer plot that's to come~

**Author's Note:**

> Where the hell do I get my damn ideas also don't mind me yelling cause it doesn't let me put summaries for the first chapter I swear I could do that..?


End file.
